When I Grow Up….

ImageI would like to think that I’m not the only one who stares at the utter confusion of my future. 

Let’s try and put this a bit more simply….I mean, not really knowing what we want to be or do when we grow up….Please tell me I’m not the only one…? I’m sure there are many other ‘things’ that we still wonder about as to what really is going to happen when we grow up…but seriously, when and how do we know that one career is exactly what we want to do for the rest of our lives? And why exactly are we forced to make a decision right after high school!? (Or even before now-a-days)

In thinking back to when I was younger to now..I’m pretty sure I wanted to be a professional gymnast, a professional ice skater, a scientist, a teacher, and a lawyer. My how things change. I went to school completely undecided.  I ended up making my way to something that was very comfortable and graduating with a degree in Tourism, Leisure, & Event planning.

Many say this is my calling. Many say this is what I’m great at. And many have no idea that I really am not sure this is what I truly love to do. Just because we are good at something, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s what we want to do…forever. 

And just what is forever? Who said we have to be stuck with the same job our entire lives? Okay, maybe we end up getting stuck with a job because it has great benefits, retirement, and all that good stuff? But really, being stuck with a job that we do not like…who wants that?

To those that do not know or are confused what your calling is…believe me you are not alone. I too have little to no idea what exactly I want to do when I ‘grow up’. (And yes, I’m 25 years old.) Many of you may call this young, and you’re probably exactly right, but I have graduated from college, gotten my degree, and should be off on my way…..but I’m not. I’m still pondering what exactly it is that I’m good at, that I love, that is rewarding, and that will be my best fit. 

If you are like me…please take some time, think, and try some of these helpful hints I found on about.com:
1.Make a list of 5-10 jobs that you’ve thought about. If you need more ideas, here’s a long list of different job opportunities.

2. Now organize the list, putting your favorites at the top. For your top three choices, list the positives and negatives. For example, if “veterinarian” is at the top of your list, a positive reason for choosing this field is that you love working with animals. On the negative side, it takes eight years of college to become a vet, and it’s not easy to get into vet school. Listing positives and negatives will help you start figuring out what’s important to you. For example, starting your own business is a big commitment. Is it more important to you to be your own boss, or would you rather have more time for your family?

3. Now that you’ve got your list, take some career tests. Compare the results to the list you made. If you find a match, it’s a good place to start digging deeper. Don’t worry if you get a result you don’t like at all. The tests aren’t perfect, and you can just cross off the jobs that have zero appeal to you.

4. Learn more about the job by doing some online research. Here are some places to find detailed job descriptions.

  • What kind of training do you need to get the job?
  • Does it require a college education? If it does, what kinds of classes would you need to take? Can you handle the courses?
  • If the job doesn’t require a college degree, does it require specialty training? Are there programs in your area or would you have to move somewhere else? If you joined the military, could you get the specialized training you’d need for the job?
  • How much does the job pay? If the answer is “not much”, is that important to you?
  • Would you work regular hours?
  • Does the job sound too stressful or too boring?

However, as we know things change. We find ourselves in situations we didn’t expect to be in. We find our brains and minds change. We find our wants and desires change. In general, people change and so does the job market over time. To those of you, like myself, that still aren’t sure what you want to be when you grow up, it’s okay…..

According to the article I found….”There’s a famous Chinese saying: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” If you follow all these recommendations, you still might not have found the answer to the question of what you want to be when you grow up, but you will have started the journey. And if someone asks you what you want to be, you can answer the question truthfully: “I’m exploring my options.”

Needless to say, I’m 25 years old, have a college degree, a bartender/server by day and night, a traveler for leisure activity & cultural experience, and spontaneously living the journey for ‘What I want to be when I grow up..’.

Although it can be so frustrating at times not knowing exactly what we want to do, I have high hopes for all of us, someday we will figure it out.

If any of you want to share how you figured out what you wanted to do when you grew up, when you figured it out, or any interesting stories/jobs, please do share!

“We Are Just Exploring Our Options…”

 

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A Whole New Year..

It is beyond crazy to think that I started this blog 2 years ago! It all seems like yesterday….

With that being said, time flies. I wish I could say that famous saying “Time flies when your having fun”, but we all know life isn’t all fun and games. However, that doesn’t stop time….Time keeps going, no matter how much we love or hate life.

In reflecting upon my last year, I realized that throughout a year, we all have our own stories to tell. We all go through many, many emotions. Most of us have some good and some bad. I’m betting rarely anyone had a complete good year…or a complete bad year. (If you did, please do tell how you managed that one!) We all have something to be thankful for…

The one thing that I like to remember when thinking about my previous year…”What did I learn…” (And yes, I sound like a parent…or maybe just a smart human being that likes to find ways to better themselves…or maybe I’m just getting old…:)

So, this year I learned a tremendous amount. I learned:
* “Life is hard…Get a helmet”
* “Life goes on…no matter what”
* “You live & you learn”
* “Live every moment”
* “You can always start a new beginning”
* & “Always be honest…no matter how hard it may be..”

With all this being said we all are lucky to still be here. We all are still here for a reason. And we all can have goals, aspirations, and motivations to better ourselves for a new year! Some things are easier said than done, but anything is worth a try right!?

So here is SOME of what I would like to try for 2014..(or New Years Resolutions as some call it) Of course, I may not be able to do all of these, but that is what other years are for…
1. I would like to learn to drive stick
2. I would like to go to a shooting range and learn to shoot
3. I would like to learn/go snowboarding
4. I would like to go zip lining
5. I would like to go bungee jumping (really quite scared to do this one)
6. I would like to go to a concert (Yes, believe it or not, I’ve never been to one!)
7. I would like to go to a state that I’ve never been too (Arizona, Texas, Maine?)
8. I would like to learn how to croshay
9. I would like to take line dancing classes or attend a square dance
10. I would like to try Grates wings (A well known local joint in Fremont, my home town
11. Eat healthier
12. Get more oganized
13. & my favorite…Laugh more & Cry Less….

And these are only to name a few…but if anyone reading this would like to help me achieve some of these resolutions, I would be more than happy to complete them with you!

I look forward to the New Year and whatever it brings my way! I feel mentally & physically more prepared from the lessons 2013 & what my previous years have taught me than I ever have before.

Be on the look out for my weekly blogs again… (another one of my New Years resolutions)..:) This time, it’s not all about me, I will be adding in photos, recipes, quotes, reviews, and much more up to date discussions! Feel free to comment on something you would like me to write about this year!

“LIFE IS A ONE TIME OFFER, USE IT WELL”

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I Went To Australia….AGAIN!:)

travel2It seems as though….it has been forever since I’ve updated or wrote a post…

Well it has….

Truth is, I’ve been working, traveling, and across the world in Australia.  But, I think it’s important that I be honest… I’ve wanted to write in my blog.  I wanted to share my opinions. And I wanted to post.  But, I simply couldn’t.  I seemed to hit a hard spot in life.  I thought things were shaping up.  I thought I was getting my life together.  It all seemed like things were on the right track. I got my job back, I received another job, I had a boyfriend that seemed to have his ‘stuff’ together, I got a new apartment, I was looking into going back to school, and I was using my past experiences as motivation because I thought I was moving forward.  Truth is, I wasn’t.  I was stuck.  I wasn’t happy. I thought staying busy, dating someone with his ‘shit’ together, and forgetting about all the hurt I went through would make me happy again.  I was wrong. I fell deeper and deeper….until opportunity arose again…..Sydney Opera House, Australia

The chance to go back to Australia….Although, I debated, and debated about going back to Australia, I decided, it’s what was best for me.  It’s what I needed to do.  I knew from previous experience, the amount of time, energy, and work it takes in Australia to make sure that the business is running.  Many of you that know me that are reading this may know what I do over there where as others may not. So I will explain as everyone asks, so what is it that you do over there?

DSCN1180I go to Australia to help run a Haunted House.  My dad has owned and operated a haunted house for 24 years now. He was hired out to train their actors, build and manage in Australia.  I went last year willing and able to do anything just so I could get to another country and experience the work life.  I must have impressed them a bit to where they wanted me back. I came back this year to partake a bigger role and assist them with management.  Believe me, working a haunted house at the biggest festival in Australia with over almost 1 million visitors is no easy task.  We worked 14-16 hours a day for 3 weeks straight in the 80-100 degree Fahrenheit heat. And if we were lucky, we would get 2 30 minute breaks.    We built, ran, and tore down a haunted house.  It was my job to make sure things ran smoothly.  You can only imagine it was my job to be wonder woman.  But to me, this is all great learning lessons but more than anything, amazing life experiences.

And as much as I hesitated to go, I’m SO glad I went.  I thought I had my life coming together before I left.  But, I didn’t.  I wasn’t happy, I was lost, I had no sense of direction…

When I went to Australia, I had no connection with the United States. We had no internet connection and little time to experience Australia. Of course it was tough not being able to talk to my family or friends but in a way it was kind of nice in a way because sometimes we depend on friends and family too much and need to do things on our own. Be a bit independent.  We didn’t get to enjoy Australia as we just worked, ate and slept. But, what I did experience, wasDSCN1217 me.  Was who I am. Who I want to be. Where I want to be….

I met an amazing friend and now boyfriend in Australia.  I’m sure your thinking, I’m pretty crazy.  Let’s get this straight, he’s not an Aussie.  He’s an American from Chicago, Illinois.  He came on the trip to work as well and met us in Sydney, Australia.  He too is in the haunt business and has been since a little kid.  (How ironic right?) However, he is my age, and shared the same outlook on life.  We connected from the first time we met.  He’s outgoing, a hard worker, and a bit spontaneous, and a handy man;)  Although, I was a bit mean when I first spoke to him…(If you ever meet him, you will have to ask him about our ‘first’ encounter) TravelBut, what I will say, is that this man was my rock.  He kept me sane, motivated, and most of all alive through all the work in Australia.  When you work 16 hours a day for 3 1/2 weeks straight, we all go through our share of emotions.  We both shared our mad, sad, frustrated, happy, goofy, and every emotional state possible with each other.  But, we were always there for one another…we helped each other out.  Although we worked at a haunted house, we were able to keep each other from really going crazy! And that right there is AMAZING! For a man to keep any woman from going crazy is definitely a keeper….

And since I’m being honest, I want to admit, I always swore I had a type for men….but let’s be real, it clearly wasn’t working.  They were everything I wanted but didn’t need.  They didn’t treat me right, make me happy, or help me as a person see what I need to do.  However, I don’t know if we should strive so much on a specific ‘type’ that we date. We need to focus more on the connection, the person, and how they treat us.  I swore I would never date another ‘haunter’/’actor’ or even participate in this business……but look at me now.  I was searching so much for what I wanted, I lost track in what I really needed.

So, here it is….since going to Australia, I have realized, life is way to short to work all the time, not experience life, and most of all not take chances.  In life, we need to be happy. And for once, I came home, and realized I’m ready to do whatever it is to be happy. Take chances. Take risks. And be a bit spontaneous.  Travel, explore the world as much as possible. Meet new people, share new experiences, and most of all LIVE LIFE.  We think too much about what we want and forget too much about what we need… I’m ready to finally be…just…me:)

“Ones Destination Is Never A Place, But A New Way Of Seeing Things….”

 

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To Seek Advice…

advice1Here is a letter that I have recently written to some of my close friends and family regarding my future.  After reading this letter, I’m sure you can see I’m very unsure of my future.  I wanted  some of my fellow readers and bloggers to see that it’s okay to seek advice.  More importantly, we should compile our thoughts onto paper/the computer.  It’s good to look at the pro’s and con’ and get others opinions and thoughts.

However, as we know, it comes down to our decision and what suits us best….but never be afraid to seek advice.  And, if any of my fellow readers, want to put in their input regarding my situations, please do. I value all opinions!

Here is what I sent out to my close friends and family….

Hi,

As we know, I suck at making decisions.  I’m really trying to get better at them by weighing out the pros and cons. But, in all honesty…weighing out the pro’s and con’s really makes things even tougher for me. I’m asking for some advice.  Advice from friends and family as to where exactly I’m too go in my life.  I don’t necessarily want you to TELL me what to do, I understand that in all reality, it’s up to me to decide.  However, I want to hear your thoughts and inputs or what you would do in my situation.

Here was my approximate timeline as to what I was going to do with my life:

  • Dec-May-Live in BG, work at a bar and get back into Longhorn Steakhouse. Apply to grad school
  • May-Aug-Work at PIB
  • Aug-Start Grad school as an Intervention Specialist (2 years)

It all seems so simple right?

Too bad things come up… Here is what has come up:

  • In order to receive an assistanceship (which pays for most of my tuition and gives me a monthly stipend) to Bowling Green State University, I must have all my paperwork in by March 1st including my test results for the GRE which are only offered once or twice a month. (In which I have not studied…)
  • I have been asked to go back to Australia or possibly New Zealand in March.  I do not know the logistics of it as of now regarding pay, dates, and exactly where, however, it’s a chance to see the world again, earn some extra cash, get away for a while, and experience new cultures from all over the world.
  • I have received an email from one of my internships regarding a possible new position that may be opening up at Myrtle Waves in Myrtle Beach.  Once again, he is awaiting the logistics of this position regarding job descriptions and pay range.

So, this is where I’m at….Here are some of my thoughts in my head?

  • Should I go to Australia or New Zealand?
  • Is it okay to go back to Put In Bay?
  • Do I want to stress about taking this test within the month or should I wait to start grad school in Decemeber?
  • Does starting grad school later hurt my future? Or my well being?
  • Do I really want to go to grad school at Bowling Green State University?
  • Should I look into online grad school?
  • I’ve always wanted to go out of state like the Carolina’s or Florida, would a grad school better suit me there?
  • Is it okay to leave my boyfriend?
  • Should I go to a school closer to him around Cleveland or Kent state?
  • Should I take the job with my previous internship and still go to grad school?
  • When should I go to grad school? Is it okay to wait?

Here is what I do know:

I love to help people. I love to travel. I love warm weather and the sun. I love kids. And I love education.  But more than anything, I truly do hope, in the near future, I have some stability in my life. I want a steady job. I want a steady income. And I really want a place to call home for a while.

As you can see, I have a lot of idea’s and opportunities.  But, I have a lot of decisions that need to be made and be made soon.  I would love any input you have.  You all are receiving this letter because I truly look up to you and value your opinion.

Thank you for any advice or words of wisdom that you may have for me….

“Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help”

 

 

 

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I Feel Old….

oldIt’s true, I’m starting to feel old.  I know, I know, I’m not that old. I get it. However, I’m realizing that I’m past a certain stage of my life….

We all go through many phases of life.  Whether it’s the young, immature, college, party animal, study freak, or just plain bum, we all go through some kind of phase. And at some point, we all hit…..realization.  (I don’t necessarily want to say, the next phase of our life, or to be grown up) But, we all hit a point where we realize, we aren’t who we used to be.

For me, I realized that I hit another phase of my life when I surround myself with college kids and feel so old compared to them. Once again, I know I’m not old but I feel as though I’m passed that stage. I no longer want to get hammered at home before I go out, act a fool, get hammered some more at the bar, and then come home puke, and do it all over the next day.  First, my body just simply can’t handle that anymore.  My hangovers are two days hangovers. And second, I would rather enjoy my alcohol than waste it;)

I also realized it when I found myself thinking about the future more.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always thought about the future but more so about finances, taxes, education, careers, relationships, and locations.  You know, that ‘grown up’ stuff.  But not only was I thinking about it, I have begun to start to do it.old2

I have decided that my current degree, ‘Tourism, Leisure, & Event Planning’, just isn’t for me.  I have had little to no motivation to find a job.  Although, I may be very skilled in this field, I do not have the passion for this job. I have thought a lot about what I have passion for regarding a future career. I love to help people, I love kids, and I love education.  After hearing myself say this, I knew that I have a desire to teach.  So, I’m heading back to grad school in the fall to get my Master’s as an intervention specialist.

Of course it’s a shocker when we begin a life change in careers.  Of course, it’s a shocker when we can’t party like we used too. And of course, it’s a shocker when we begin to think about furthering relationships.  But, this is all part of life.  We get old, we mature, and we begin to understand the meaning of life.  However, I will say, just because we begin a new phase doesn’t mean we still can’t go back the older one….it’s usually just a different style. For instance, I can still party with the best of them….just cannot do it as often as I used too….

Although, I’m 24 years old and feel old, it’s only because I’m at a new stage of my life. I’m ready to start what I really want to do. I’m ready to incorporate stability into my lifestyle.  And most importantly, realize, I’m not old, I’m just beginning to recognize, understand, and make a life….

“We Are Never Too Old”

 

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The Turtle Wins…!

A wise man told me that hturtle3e always remembers and always follows the story of ‘The Tortoise & The Hare’.  Or more of us may remember or know of it as ‘The Turtle and The Rabbit’. If your still unsure of this story, let me explain the moral of the story, ‘Slow & Steady Wins the Race’. turtle4

After hearing him keep comparing this story to real life, I really started to compare it to my own.  It’s quite interesting how true this logic really is.  Almost like the saying ‘good things come to those who wait…’.  Of course though, we all hate going slow, waiting, and be patient.

Lately, I’ve decided and have been learning to really try and be more patient.  And not just with the big things, but with the small things as well.  I’ve been trying to better understand that sometimes, I’m not the only one that is in a rush.  Sometimes, I’m not the only thing that matters. And sometimes, we must learn to simply wait, people, places, and things, have their reasons as to why exactly things are not going how they are supposed to be.  But, honestly, I have learned things usually end up better or exactly how they are supposed to just by being patient.

Since, I have been trying to Turtle2understand that it is good to be patient, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve had some tough moments where I didn’t understand why I didn’t get the job, why I didn’t get the apartment, and why I didn’t get back into school when I wanted too…but because I didn’t get those things when I wanted too, better things have come my way.  And, I also got to enjoy life a little bit more….Hawksbill turtle, Red Sea, Egypt

But, my main reason for patience, why rush life?  We graduate from high school and college, and are expected to just rush life….We must enjoy the precious time we are given.  And I know sometimes patience sucks, especially when we are in hurry and running late.  I waited patiently to get a job and I finally did. I waited patiently to get an apartment and I did. And I waited patiently to go back to school, and I’m finally going too. So, remember….MOST of the time…The turtle wins…

“Patience Is A Virtue”    

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I’m Not Just A Bartender and Server….

1 yearSo it’s been one year for my blog.  My, has time gone by. Looking back at my New Year’s Resolution last year, I wanted to try and write a blog every day. I started out pretty well…However, with the life I live, it’s nearly impossible to find time every day to write a complete blog.  Although, I will say, I had some pretty damn good ones and points that were well stated.  With that being said, I’m continuing my blog into this year.  I enjoy writing and more importantly, I have a feeling that 2013 will be a year with a lot of new dreams, new opportunities, and many exciting events and of course..lots of opinions.

Speaking of opinion, I decided to start off my first blog post of 2013 with the nature of ‘job status’.  I’m at the age where many of my friends from high school and college are starting to get ‘real jobs’, married, have babies.  It is truly great! I couldn’t be happier for some of my friends. 1 year2

However, here is my problem.  Many people believe that you have to ‘grow up’ as soon as you graduate or get to a certain age.  I agree to a degree that at some point or another, we must grow up.  However, I want to admit, I’m just not there yet….but people shouldn’t hold that against me.

Many people do not understand why I’m still bartending and serving.  Well, here is the truth.  I like it. I enjoy it. It makes me happy. And the biggest part, it currently fits the lifestyle that I want to live.  Call me selfish, but I’m just not ready to settle down. I love to travel when I want too and wherever I want too.  While being a bartender and server, the schedule allows me to do so.  It’s something that is fun and fast pace but still allows me some time to enjoy myself.  More importantly, I make a living off of it.  I’m not hurting by any means still bartending and serving.

But, recently, I have noticed throughout the media and speaking with others including some of my own friends, that people put a ‘bad emphasis’ on someone that is still bartending and serving at an older age.  I’m sure as a person with a ‘real job’ looking in, you think to yourself, “Wow, she’s still a bartender and serving”…. Your right, I am as too many, many others are.

1 year3What many of you may not realize is each bartender and server has their own story as to why we do it.  Many of you that judge a bartender and server really have no idea, how powerful, smart, and amazing we really are.  Let’s face it, most of us have some kind of education or college degree.  Just because we bartend or serve does not mean that we are not smart.  We just haven’t truly found the right job and what makes us happy.  I mean, some of us may do it because it truly is amazing money, some of us may do it because we simply cannot find a job, some of us may do it because it’s paying the bills and putting us through school, some of us may do it because WE ENJOY IT!

So, I will admit, I am 24 years old, a Bowling Green State University Graduate, and I am still Bartending and Serving all over the United States.  I enjoy what I do and truly believe, that we shouldn’t judge anybody on what their ‘job status’ is.  We all have a story and reasoning behind what we do.  I meet people from all over the world doing what I do.  I get to talk to people that I may never see again in my lifetime.  Most importantly, right now, I enjoy what I do.

Judge me or not but just wait until you read what all I get to do in a year by being….JUST a ‘Bartender and Server’.

“I’m So Much More Than You Think”

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From The Grinch To Joy To The World

christmasThere was once was a girl who truly enjoyed Christmas.  She loved spending time with her family, watching the fire in the fireplace, and leaving carrots and celery for Santa. (As she didn’t want him to get ‘bigger’ than he already was so he could make it down the chimney to all the houses.) And, of course, she enjoyed all the wonderful presents she would get.

Then, one year, her parents went through some financial difficulty.  They were unable to get her the things that she wanted.  However, her parents still tried to make it special….in which they did.  But, many of her friends did not really understand or support the Christmas that she had, had. They were all bragging as to what they got…and just couldn’t understand why she really hadn’t received much.

Although she hadn’t received much, she really was able to realize that Christmas isn’t about gifts.  It’s about spending time with family, friends, and most of all celebrating Jesus’ Birthday.  (And of course, hopefully getting some good food).  To her, that was one of the most amazing Christmas’ that she has ever had.  She learned the true meaning of Christmas and most of all made a holiday special with little to nothing.

As the years went on, she had her fair share of good and bad Christmas’. However, as the years passed, she realized that so many people truly do not understand the ‘true’ meaning of Christmas. They expect presents.  They expect happy families.  They expect the best of the best.  And they like to brag.  One thing that she truly couldn’t stand….

She felt Christmas was becoming more commercialized.  More about presents.  More about bragging.  And more about who gets what, how much each spends, and less about what is really important.

That’s when her feelings started to change.  Even though she had, had a few tough Christmas Holidays, she still enjoyed Christmas.  But, christmas2she couldn’t help it anymore, she didn’t want to support the commercialized Christmas Holiday anymore.  She became a scrooge.  She was full of ‘Ba Hum Bugs’.  Her parents began hearing her say, ‘I hate Christmas’. …

Finally, after a few years, they had, had enough.  They told her that, although we have had some tough Christmas’, we have had a lot of very good ones.  (Which was all very true…) But, then she mentioned about everyone else….and the season being so commercialized.  Her parents told her that, she should really remember what Christmas is all about.  More than anything, they wanted her to know how much it hurt her parents and others around her about being a Scrooge.  It’s no fun when ‘Ba Hum Bug’ takes place in a household, let alone anywhere!

They were exactly right….She realized she needed to stop worrying about everyone else.  She needed to enjoy the holidays with her friends and family.  Most of all, surround herself with people who really do understand the true meaning of Christmas.

And this she, AKA Grinch, was exactly….me.

DSCN1124-001So, this year, I decided to push away the ‘Commercialized’ Christmas and surround myself with the true meaning of Christmas.  I started by helping my parents put up the Christmas decorations….played Christmas music…and started to get into the Christmas spirit.  But, Christmas is so much more to me that just some decorations.  I like to help people.  I decided this year, I really wanted to help my Aunt, as she has ‘Multiple Scorosis’ and is unable to do what she truly wants and loves.  Christmas is her favorite holiday. She loves to give presents, to make the presents special, to have meaning to everything, to wrap pretty, and most of all to see the smiles on people’s faces as they walk into her beautifully decorated house.  I spent many days decorating her entire house, ordering presents for the family, and wrapping them all up.  To me, this gave me a reason for Christmas.  This was better than buying a present…it was giving a present that had no monetary value….It was a present full of love….

So instead of being a ‘Grinch’ for the holiday season, I have transformed into understanding and wanting to give ‘Joy To The World’.   It is my goal, every Christmas from now on, to do something good for someone with little to no ‘monetary value’.  And as much as Christmas has become commercialized and so many people do not understand the true meaning of Christmas, I for one, will no longer be considered the Grinch…

“Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays”

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Who Would Have Thought….

I love to write but it’s very hard to write about myself.  So, I’m going to try and write about this the best way I know how in a way that many of you may be able to relate…(PS-This may be a quite lengthy…but it has been a while…)

relationship2I used to be the girl that was ALWAYS in a relationship.  And by that I mean, I always had a steady boyfriend. I was in two long relationships.  Then, I don’t know what happened…..I became single.  And single for quite a long time….

Don’t get me wrong…..I enjoyed it and hated it all at the same time.  While being single, you go through a mixture of emotions.  You love to be able to go out and have a good time, talk to whomever you want too, and most of all do whatever you want too.  However, you also watch, see, and feel others relationships and feel a sense of ‘loneliness’.  So, of course you go through your stage in trying to attract men. (Maybe females in your case)  You dress up, you keep you eye out, and you talk to new people in hopes of some kind of attraction.

But, throughout my single life, I realized how hard it truly was to meet a man.

You don’t just want to meet a man at a bar.  By this time, I learned most of them are no good.  My mom always suggested that I Relationshipjoin a class or volunteer to meet a man.  But, truth is, it’s just really hard to meet a man outside of our hectic schedules anymore.

SIDENOTE: I always thought I was going to meet the ‘man of my dreams’ on an airplane.  I travel a lot and always strike up amazing conversations with men that get stuck sitting next to me.  After telling my mom and my best friend this, whenever I traveled with them, a man always ended up sitting next to me.  To their surprise, they usually were quite decent looking, especially this oneJ  But, due to work and hectic lives, we were usually never able to really work something out. ..

But for me, it wasn’t just hectic schedules with being single anymore, the word….’Intimidating’ kept coming up.  Every time I would finally get a chance to talk with a man, they would tell me that I’m very ‘intimidating’.  Need I tell you, I’m 5’2 on a good day, so there really isn’t much too me.  However, that was another main reason that many men would not approach me right away.

I have come to the conclusion; I do not like that word.  Just because I work hard, I play hard, and I have a brain does not make me very different from most girls.  Yes, I am independent.  Yes, I have a college degree. Yes, I take care of myself. (Try too anyways) But, A LOT of women do….and we really have to these days in order to live.

relationship3So, after hearing those words for so long, I had, had it….

I took a chance with a man at a bar. Yes, I know, RULE #1-Never talk ‘seriousness’ with a man at a bar.  But, I also was the one to ask for the date AND the phone number.  UH….who am I? Well, I was a girl that saw a man….and knew I really wanted to get to know him…and at this point..what did I have to lose!?

After our wonderful, well planned, date that completely ‘wow’d’ me…we took a few more….where we realized, we couldn’t stop talking to one another and most of all really enjoyed each other’s company… We decided, since we both had time off to take a trip.  During our trip, we really learned a lot about each other.  I finally realized…..I really don’t want to be single anymore…

And neither did he….

So, here it is, Kaitlin is no longer single.  I will admit, it is a bit weird and different but in a very good way…

my-opinionBut, finally, after talking about myself way too much, here is the moral of this post.
1. It is okay to be single….use that time to find out what you like, what you don’t like, and what you really want in life.
2. It is okay to be picky….although we may never find ‘Mr. Perfect’ because there is no such thing as perfect but we can definitely take time to pick and choose regarding what we want and don’t want.  We have that luxury these days, use it!
3. After a break-up/ending of a ‘relationship/ect….Do NOT jump right into another one.  Take time for yourself….believe it or not, you need time to heal….
4. Only commit when you are ready…especially as you get older….It’s not cool to be in and out of relationships anymore…
5. FINALLY…because I LOVE odd numbers…Enjoy your single life…but also…learn to enjoy relationships…both can be very rewarding….

In the end….whether your single or in a relationship, it doesn’t always mean happy…However, you have the right to decide what you want, what you like, and most of all what you need in life…And I will proudly admit, I took my time, learned some lessons (okay, many lessons), and met some wonderful people who taught me many things about myself, and am really looking forward to this new relationship that I have finally taken a chance on…

PS…Who would have thought…Kaitlin would have a boyfriend!

“The Best Relationships…Usually Begin Unexpectedly”

Categories: Personal | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Just A Thought On Taking Advice…

Recently, I have learned a lot about advice.  I realize that it depends on who is giving the advice, what the advice actually is, and if your willing and able to accept it. However, when it comes to relationships, I think we should be a little more open to advice, especially from best friends and close family.

I used to think that it really doesn’t matter what others think about your relationship.  All that matters is that you two are happy.  But, I think we really should consider what our best friends and close family think.  I’m not saying, we should completely base a relationship on what others think.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, our best friends and close family know us the best.  They can see what we can’t see.  They see our emotions, feelings, and each other from an outsider position.  They can see if we are truly happy with one another.  They have an opinion on our future. And most of all, they truly want what is best for us.

I like to think I have had some very close family, and some very dear friends throughout my years.  I’ve always had this weird ability to see through people.  I read people very well.  But, I will be the first to admit, I’m not always right.  I too make mistakes.  Although when my friends and family ask for my advice regarding their relationships, I’m quite brutally honest.

Here is what I have learned recently.  Sometimes, we may not like the advice we are given from best friends and close family regarding relationships….but they are truly the ones that know us the best.  They only want what is best for us.  However, when many people tell you that a certain person is not right for you, you should move on, you can do better, and that in the long run, it’s just not right….sometimes we need to take that into consideration.  And by consideration, I mean very, very careful thought.

I know that there are certain situations where the love is stronger than what everyone else thinks. And sometimes family does not support certain relationships for other factors.  However, I have said many times to certain people not to be with someone for very good reasons.  Yet, they still get back in a relationship with them, they still marry them, and they still do what they want to do.  I just can’t tell you how disappointed I am in certain people who currently end up miserable for not listening to MANY people’s advice. (Not, just mine)  Sadly, deep down, they know better too.  It’s just what is and has been normal for them.  Or they get trapped.  Just very sad to me in my book….

What I will say is this….Relationships are definitely between two people.  You can overcome many things with ‘love’.  But, before you commit yourselves into a very deeper relationships, I suggest hearing out best friends and close family.  It’s much easier to continue and have a relationship with support….rather than a relationship with nothing but you two.

“Listen to the People Who Know You The Best”

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